The Battle of Wits
by TitanKardinal
Summary: When Kimiko is captured by Jack Spicer, he and Raimundo get into a battle of wits...TO THE DEATH. oneshot


**I'm sure a lot of you will recognize this right away, But still it was fun to write this. Hope you enjoy reading this.  
I don't own Xaiolin Showdown. If I did then I'd have Jack tapdance on the back of a monkey who is lieing on a hot bed of coals. Yes i realize that's very strange. And since people have guessed what it's from, i'll put a disclaimer for Princess Bride too. I Love this scene and the author was a genius for writing it, but that genius was not me.**

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Raimundo burst into Jack's lair, where he sat calmly behind his desk with Kimiko blindfolded at his side. He'd easily beaten all of his robot guards, and that stupid ugly mug of a Cyclops to get there.

Jack was holding a dagger to Kimiko's throat, and he stared at Raimundo with a smug grin. "So" Jack said "It's down to you, And it's down to me." Raimundo approached slowly to rescue his captured friend before her throat was cut. "If you wish her dead, then by all means, keep moving forward." Jack said.

"Let me explain." Raimundo said.

"There's nothing to explain." Jack said. "You're trying to steal who I've rightfully kidnapped."

"Perhaps an arrangement could be reached?" Raimundo asked, still walking forward.

Jack grabbed Kim's arm "There will be no arrangement." He said, glaring at Rai. "And you're killing her." He pressed the blade closer to Kim's throat.

Kimiko said nothing but drew a sharp breath as if screaming out "RAIMUNDO DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!!!!"

"Well if there can be no arrangement, then we are at an impasse." Rai said, stopping his advance.

"I'm afraid so." Jack agreed. "I can't compete with you physically." Raimundo nodded. "And you're no match for my brains."

"You seriously think you're that smart?" Raimundo had doubt that Jack was actually as smart as he always claimed.

"Let me put it this way." Jack said "Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle Socrates?" he asked.

"Yeah, Duh." Raimundo said, crossing his arms.

"Morons." Jack said blankly.

"Really?" Raimundo said doubtfully. "In that case, I challenge you."

"To a showdown I take it?" Jack rolled his eyes.

"No, to a battle of wits." Raimundo corrected.

"For Kimiko?" Jack asked.

Raimundo nodded.

"To the death?!" Jack asked.

Raimundo nodded again. To the death was a bit dramatic, but hey, if it got Kim back, AND Jack to stop bugging them, then it was alright with him.

"I accept." Jack said, letting go of Kimiko and putting the knife down.

Kimiko didn't move and sat there thinking "I hope you know what you're doing Rai."

"Good, then pour the drinks." Rai signaled to the two glasses and bottle of red grape juice in front of Jack.

Jack did so as Raimundo sat down across from him. Raimundo took out a cylinder of powder and handed it to Jack.

"Inhale this, but don't touch it." Raimundo instructed.

Jack took it and took a quick whiff. "I don't smell anything." He said and handed it back.

"What you don't smell is called Iocane Powder. It's odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid and is one of the more deadly poisons in the world." Raimundo said.

Jack had to admit, Raimundo had done his homework, and was impressed by the fact that he even knew what Iocane was.

Raimundo took the two glasses and placed the poison. He turned back around and placed the cups back on the table, swishing them both a bit before setting them down.

Jack smiled and chuckled to himself as Raimundo spoke "Alright, Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun!" he said "It ends when you decide and we both drink. Then we find out who is right… and who is dead."

Jack laughed. "But it's so simple! All I have to do is divide from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own cup or is enemy's?" Jack started. Raimundo smirked as he went on. "Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because only a great fool would reach for what he was given, I am NOT a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the cup in front of you. But you know that I'm not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the cup in front of me!"

"You've made your choice then?" Raimundo said, getting bored already.

"Not remotely. Because Iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely populated with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the cup in front of you." Jack said.

"Really you have a dazzling intellect." Raimundo said.

"WAIT TILL I GET GOING!!!" Jack shouted excitedly. "Where was I?" he asked.

"Australia" Rai replied, waiting for the red head to hurry up and choose.

"Right, thanks. Australia, you would have known I would have known the powder's origin so I can clearly not choose the cup in front of me." Jack said with a grin.

"You're just stalling now…" Raimundo said in a bored tone.

"YOU'D LIKE TO THINK THAT WOULDN'T YOU?!" Jack shouted. "You've beaten my Cyclops so you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison into your own cup, hoping that your strength would save you so I can clearly not choose the cup in front of you! BUT you've also beaten my robots which means you must have studied and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible so I can clearly not choose the cup in front of me!" Jack ranted.

"actually… your robots are just lame… and you're trying to trick me into giving away something." Raimundo said. "It ain't gonna work."

"IT HAS WORKED!" Jack shouted "You've given everything away! I know where the poison is!"

"Then make your choice already!" Raimundo half shouted.

"I WILL AND I CHOOSE." Jack gasped "What in the world is that?!"

"What?! Where?" Raimundo turned around. Jack reached forward and switched the two glasses so that he had Raimundo's and Raimundo had Jack's.

"I don't see anything." Raimundo said, turning back to Jack.

"Well… I could've sworn I saw something…Oh well." Jack laughed to himself.

"What's so funny Spicer?" Raimundo pressed.

"Nothing… nothing, I'll tell you in a minute." Jack laughed. "First, let's drink. Me from my glass and you from yours."

They raised their glasses and took a drink.

"You guessed wrong." Raimundo said, putting his glass down.

"You only think I guessed wrong, THAT'S WHAT'S SO FUNNY!" Jack yelled out. "I SWITCHED GLASSES WHEN YOUR BACK WAS TURNED! HA YOU IDIOT! You've fallen victim to one of the world's classic blunders! The most famous being never get into a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well known is THIS! NEVER GO IN AGAINST JACK SPICER WHEN DEATH IS ON THE LINE!!!" Jack started to do his evil laugh as Raimundo just grinned at him. "HAHAHAHA HA HAHA HA! HAHA HA HAHA HA!! HAHA HA HA…" Jack fell over dead in the middle of his laugh.

Raimundo got up and took off Kim's blindfold.

"Wow Rai… all this time it was your cup that was poisoned."

"They were both poisoned Kimiko, Besides, I'm immune to sleeping powder." Rai said leading the dragon of fire out of Jack's lair.

"So you didn't kill him?" Kim asked.

"Nah, too messy a job." Rai smirked.

The two dragons left Jack asleep in his lair and headed together back to the Xiaolin Temple.

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**Please review. I know the ending kindof sucked, but i didn't have much to work with for an ending. Hope you enjoyed it. once again, PLEASE review. Reviews make the world go round... i think...**


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